Saturday, October 16, 2010
I just can't eat a bagful of candy anymore.
I also can't watch gory movies. Scary, maybe. But none of that "Saw", "Hostel" stuff.
I'm already pretty disturbed and anxious, anyway, so I don't really need any help in that area.
I feel terrified just watching the Food Network. So...much...butter...
I watched the preview for "the human centipede" by accident and I couldn't sleep for two days.
Have you heard of this movie? It's about a deranged Doctor who kidnaps three people and surgically attaches them mouth to ass.
I guess we ingest so much shit figuratively during the day - Tea Party propaganda, Karl Rove's twitters, Jim DeMint's thoughts on gay teachers, the complex workings of Sarah Palin's mind - that this was just the next logical step.
Meanwhile, my friend Doug actually saw The Human Centipede in its entirety, at a theater with a friend and they just laughed and laughed.
Because they knew, after all, that it's all just a movie.
It's not real.
But me, I keep thinking: who the hell thought this up?
And where are they right now?
I'm going to go lock my windows...