Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Hotel Nepenthe: The One Night Stand

I can never tell, when someone wants to fuck me...

I think: Who?  Me?...

What if I turn out to be a whore?

And she said: Boys can't be whores...

You would love me, no matter what, right?

She said she found that to be "ungentlemanly".

Is there something you want to tell me?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Hotel Nepenthe: The Senator's Wife

The Senator's Wife is a Character in The Hotel Nepenthe.

As I searched for images, I came across this little gem: the 80's music video "The Girl with the Curious Hand" (I actually own the album!) by Boston rocker Digney Fignus, featuring a young, nubile Gail Huff  - wife of Senator Scott Brown - as she sips tea in a row boat, dives into a pool topless, wears really big hats, and does something very curious indeed to her tube of sun tan lotion.

Cartoon Quiz

Greg Maraio, who directed and costumed The Superheroine Monologues so wonderfully, has asked Rick and I to write another show for his company, Phoenix Theatre Artists. 
The theme this time? 
Saturday Morning Cartoons.
It's going to be called Cartoon Confessionals.

I wanted to call it Cereal Killers, but I got totally shot down.

I just did a search for some of my favorite (or least favorite) cartoon characters.

I found some live-action, Sid n' Marty Krofft characters, too!

Can you name them, and the shows they are from?

The Hotel Nepenthe: The Bellhop

"I think it's a hatbox..."

"Yes.  It was a terrible business..."

"The security cameras couldn't make him out..."

"It could have been anyone..."

"People steal the bathrobes.  And the Bibles..."

"He knew what he was doing.  He knew he was being watched..."

The Hotel Nepenthe: The Starlet

"So I get out of the limo and there was Lady Gaga wearing a lobster on her head. SO boring..."

"And I turned to you and said: “My God. We are going to live forever.”


It was such a wonderful feeling, to know that. To really KNOW that."

"As long as they all kept looking at us, we would live forever."

"...and I got so confused I actually forgot who I was WEARING..."

"...he was killed. And now I'm a celebrity. It was meant to be..."

"I saw him out of the corner of my eye,
and he looked at me and then looked away,
so I think that we both knew that we were both THERE,
but we also both knew
 that we weren’t going to talk to each other
WHILE we were there."

Monday, October 25, 2010


I don't drive. 

I have a driver's license, but I haven't driven a car regularly in over 20 years.

So, to get around, I ride a bike.  Everywhere.

I'm one of those crazy people you see riding their bikes in the winter.

I won't ride my bike in ice or snow, of course.  But if it's cold or raining, I'll ride.  I have water proof gear.  and as for the cold, well, you don't really get cold when you're pedaling uphill furiously.

Tommy does drive, however, so if we need to go somewhere together, or far away, we get around in the beat-up teal Camry that his Mom gave us 5 years ago.

So, anyway, we were coming back from the New Rep the other night.  And we were driving down that highway, I'm not sure what it's called, the Herter Parkway?  Is that it?

 But it's that stretch of highway heading towards Cambridge, where you get to that intersection that leads to Storrow Drive, you know?

And we're driving along, and suddenly, right in the fast lane of the highway are three college age girls on bikes.  Seriously.  On.  Their. Bikes.  In the middle of the night.  No lights.  No helmets.

And we slow down, of course, because we don't want to hit them, and there's no bike lane, I mean they REALLY can't be on this road.  AT ALL.   It's not made for bikes.  I mean, it's a highway.  And I know this, because I ride my bike everywhere, and I would NEVER ride my bike on this street.  It's CRAZY.

So, at the light I roll down my window and I told them not to go straight, because it looked like they were going to do that: get onto Storrow Drive.  On their bikes.  So I told them: don't get onto Storrow.  It's dangerous.  You could get killed.

And this one sassy girl just looked back and me and smirked and said: "Look, Dude, don't worry about US.  We know what we're doing."

And off they went.  No lights.  No helmets.  No bike lane.  On a highway.  At night. 

And this is how I suddenly knew that I had turned into my mother.  Because I was still worrying about them hours later.

During all the tragic bullying going on among young people lately, there was a lot of discussion about how it all could have happened, and they had a psychologist on a news talk show, and the host asked her:  why are young people so mean to each other?  Why would two seemingly normal 20 year-olds, for example, secretly film their roommate having sex and then post it on YouTube, driving their peer to leap off a bridge?

And this psychologist explained that until you are about 25 or so, the front part of your brain hasn't fully connected the the back part.  So, theoretically, these kids can't connect their behavior to any future consequence.

In other words: 20 year-olds are only using one part of their brains at any given moment.

And after last night, I sort of believe it.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

She's leaving

She flies through the night

on a vacuum of gold

She’s drunk

a green fairy

every other day

She bought a loquacious parrot

with the rent money

She’s leaving


she’s not coming back.

She thought that tuna were the type that spawn

She’s wrong

about almost everything

Her eyes are the warmest turquoise

I’ve ever seen

She’s leaving


she’s not coming back.

She swam with a dolphin in Miami

and caught a cough

She played the cymbals in the high school marching band

She still has the scar where her last boyfriend

hit her

with a curtain rod

by accident

she said…

She’s leaving


she’s not coming back.

I thought

I saw her running across a field in her field hockey uniform

I thought

I saw her walking on that beach I always see when I close my eyes

I thought

I saw her by the side of the road

wearing a diaper

and a serial killer smile

holding a sign that read:

“Cape Canaveral or Bust”

I thought I saw her

But I didn’t.

She’s gone.

And she’s not coming back.