Fondue You

"Chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue
I don’t know about me but I know about you."


I've just discovered these inspiring immortal words from Justin Bieber.

(off his new single "Boyfriend")

Clearly channelling Baudelaire here,
via Samuel Beckett,
via the Brady Bunch.

How can someone so young be so wise?

He is by a fire, yet he remains "chillin".  

How is that even fucking POSSIBLE!? 

My mind is officially blown.

And you know, there are SO many words that rhyme with "you":

Blue, Zoo, Do, Crew, Mu-mu, Poo, Nancy Drew, Boo Hoo, Benjamin Netanyahu...

To name a few.

But leave it to the Biebs to NEVER take the easy way out. 

I remember the last time I had fondue. 

I was with my friend Kathryn in New York City, back in 1997. 

It was a Goat Cheese fondue. 

Now I'm old. 

And dairy just slows...me...down...

Kathryn wore dark sunglasses while in-doors.  

She's probably the most glamorous person I know, or ever will know.

Because she really works at it.

Glamour isn't all fun and games, you know. 

Glamorous people suffer and suffer. 

In silence. 

Tragic, beautiful silence.

I was so moved by this song. 

It really awakened a part of me I didn't even know existed.

I called Justin up: "We need to talk RIGHT NOW, Mister!"  I said to him.

Justin was in Glasgow - who knows why? - but he dropped everything and flew out to meet me.

"How did you know?"  I asked him, when he finally trudged threw my door like a sullen sheepdog.
"How did you know all about me?  My life?   How afraid I am of death and loneliness and that weird skin at your elbow that gets dry sometimes?"

"I dunno, lol", he shrugged.

Sometimes, I feel like The Beibs can read me like a recipe for onion dip.

Can this really be the dawn of a New Age?

Is this the true meaning of art: not just a way to kill time, but ACTUAL people reaching out to each other across oceans of indifference and mind-numbing social media? 

Not knowing their own self, really. 

Yet seeing that person across the table SO clearly, so fully.

The cheese dripping off their over-sized crouton like so many hopes and dreams.

I waited for Justin to answer me. 

But he was silent.

I looked into his eyes. 

And I saw my tiny reflection in them, peering back.

God, I look fantastic!