This theatre has all the hottest young playwrights.
There are no old playwrights to be found here.
they are young, and we have them
just for you
so you won't feel like a complete loser
they are SO young!
this theatre has all the young, hot playwrights!
they are barely born, they're so young
they have the young fresh ideas that those young people have
bouncing around in those webby noggins
and my god are they up and coming
the next big thing
you haven't heard of them yet
but pretty soon, everyone will know about them
those hot young brash angry young playwrights
they're just so...
(long silence. 3 minutes AT LEAST, please!)
If they were a little more connected
they could be writing scripts for
(you know? lena dunham? google her.)
or something like "girls"...
"girls 2: dunebuggies!"
"girls vs. zombies"
but they aren't writing for "girls"
so we have them locked in a basement
for the stage
for the THEE-ATE-TER
So get 'em while they're young and hot and angry
those steaming fresh-faced scribes
they can barely walk
the cord was just cut
and we slapped them on the ass
and handed them a laptop
and they will work