Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Some Shocking Statistics!!!
Everyone is up in arms lately because some guy took statistics from the Broadway League Demographic Report (whatever that is) and determined that, given the statistics, "theatre is primarily for white people".
Because, remember: the only theatre that TRULY matters is being done on one street in New York City
All the brown, pink, tan, beige, green and paisley people (or, "non-whites", as they are referred to in the report) apparently are into other art forms besides schlocky, crass, pandering, money-driven, bloated, star-fucking Broadway spectacles.
To me, this simply means that "non-white" people have better TASTE than "white" people.
In a similar report, 90% of "non-whites" responded that they would rather "be stuck in an elevator between floors with Newt Gingrich just after he ate a bean and cheese burrito" than sit thru "Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark".
89% of respondents said they would rather "drink battery acid" than listen to your bootleg recording of "A New Brain" while driving to Vermont.
And a whopping 99% stated they would rather "stick a knitting needle thru their forehead" than listen to your story about the time you bumped into Elaine Stritch in a deli on 47th at 2am and she was totally hammered and she told you this really dirty joke while you were waiting in line and you both laughed and laughed and then you helped her into a cab and she gave you a kiss on the cheek and told you to "never give up, kid" and that's why you just HAVE to do this crazy thing called THEATRE!!!!!!