Blood Work

So I was having my routine blood work done as part of my yearly physical.

And she takes the needle out of my arm.

But she can't reach the gauze, which is on the other side of me.

So she asks the other woman in the lab to hand it to her.

So this other woman stops what she's doing - EMPTYING THE GARBAGE - grabs the sterilized gauze with her bare and apparently (given her present occupation) FILTHY hand, passes it to the first woman, who slaps it over the bloody hole she just made in my arm, sticks a band-aid over that, and then says to me: "You're all set!"

Now, here's the thing, (and maybe I'm being a little picky here) but before you handle someone's bandage, and you're in the middle of handling garbage, maybe you should take a moment to:

WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS.
I mean, really. 

Gross.

Flying Sulu

Republican lawmakers in -guess where?- Tennessee have recently passed a state-wide mandate that would prevent public school teachers from saying the word "gay" in their classrooms. 

This, of course, is just to curtail any awkward conversation that might lead naive students into thinking that gay people actually EXIST in the world.

In an attempt to assist teachers, LGTB youth and their families, the fabulous George Takei (yes, that would be Lt. Sulu from "Star Trek") has offered his last name as a synonym for the word "gay".

So now people in Tennessee can talk about "Takei Marriage" and "Takei Civil Rights" without fear of right-wing wrath. 

Now that is awesome and, if I may, SO Takei!

Ode to Cleopatra

Airy elation! Imbibe time!

We’re all getting blotto, boys!

Pulsating watusi toes twinkling

Now Now Now

Roll out that grapey chaise lounge

Pit that olive!

Bake that brie!

Get Juno on the horn, man!

Remember when we couldn’t have any fun?


Quaffing Caecuban was a seven deadly
While psycho Queenie was scheming and dreaming:


“Death to the Empire!”

“Destroy the Capitol!”


With her infected horde of teste-challenged go-go boys

A spoiled orgy of prissy Persian cats

Her manic, pea-green expectations

webby with absinthe…


Her fleet smolders in like a strip club gaze

A tangled Luisitania jig

Cold shower face slap

She awakens from her smoky stupor

Telescoping Caesar, salad days spinning

as he chips at her ass

A hungry hawk


A serial killer smile in a frozen boxwood maze


Hoping to haul the femme fatale back to Rome

Tattooed

Pierced

Spread-eagled on a carny’s knee


But she dreams of a more noble sleep.


And as she gazed on her burning empire

She grasped the basket of asps

Serene, Calm

She cradles them near, seeking their silky venom

The mirage of death flits, squid-like through her veins


She plunges downward now

Escaping his reach

Proud

Arrogant

Her final defeat

Descends into triumph



Note: I wrote this a while ago: it's my stab at translating an Horace ode.  I re-discovered it while thinking of Antony & Cleopatra, of course, which closes this weekend and ends ASP's season.  If you haven't seen the show yet, you should really try to get in, it's pretty amazing, and Paula is astounding and heart-breaking as always! 

Here's
the info:


The Modern Theatre at Suffolk University
525 Washington Street
Downtown Crossing
directed by Adrianne Krstansky
TONIGHT at 7:30pm
Thursday 5.19 & Friday 5.20 at 7:30pm
CLOSING: Saturday 5.21 at 3:00pm and 8:00pm
Purchase your tickets today with the code FINAL10 and receive $10 off the price of your ticket!
Featuring: James Andreassi*, Siobhan Brown, Jesse Hinson,
Doug Lockwood*, Johnnie McQuarley, Paula Plum*, Mara Sidmore*, Richard Snee* and Giselle Ty.
Buy your tickets HERE!
or call 866-811-4111

Bloom Again!

SO happy it's Spring right now!