Killer Klowns

Am I old fashioned?

Could this be true?

I just heard that there are actors who actually contact critics and invite them to review shows in which they are performing.

I would just NEVER do that!

First of all, I just don't have the balls: critics are second only to clowns for scaring the crap out of me.

Second of all: isn't it just inappropriate/a conflict of interests?

I have (politely) invited directors and artistic directors and other theatre professionals to come see my work in the past.

Friends and family, of course.

But Critics?

That's like putting a half-loaded gun to your head and pulling the trigger.

That's like spending all your rent money on lottery tickets.

That's like asking John Wayne Gacy to be the clown at your kids birthday party.

At best, you are playing with fire.

Of course, it could turn out just fine, I suppose.

I hear Gacy was a regular Patch Adams at the Childrens Hospital...

Michael Balcanoff

I have just heard some very sad news.

My friend and co-worker, the actor Michael Balcanoff, has passed away.

I knew that Michael was dealing with some recent and serious health issues, but I am still very surprised and shocked and so so saddened to hear this: he always seemed a picture of health and energy, and he was just an overwhelmingly positive person.

I was lucky enough to have just performed a play with him, a little less than a year ago: Pinter's The Caretaker, in which Michael was absolutely brilliant as the desperate, conniving and complicated tramp, Davies.

It's a back-breaking, demanding role (he never leaves the stage), and he tackled it with such vigor and love and humor.

There is one moment I will never forget in that play:

Towards the end, Davies tells my character, Aston, how hot it is in mental institutions.

His character is clearly trying to persuade mine to let him stay in the dilapidated, drafty room we have shared up until that moment.

Now, Aston is kicking him out, and the stakes are very high.

Arguably, Davies might say anything at this point in order to gain Aston's sympathy, and his allusion to his stay in a mental home is probably one of his many lies, a clear attempt to connect with Aston, who had a harrowing and crushing experience in such a place.

But Michael decided that this was not another lie of Davies: it was a rare moment when he told the truth.

Every night, he would deliver this line to me with such brutal honesty that my only possible response is to turn around and face him.

We would stare at each other in a total state of quiet vulnerability.

It was one of those rare magical moments that happens on stage with another actor, where you are both so in the moment, so connected and honest and out there that you actually forget everything else.

He was a generous, thoughtful, funny man, and a great actor and artist.

I will miss him very much.

I Google Myself

I do.

I admit it.

I'm just curious.

What are all the other John Kuntzes up to?

Like John Kuntz, the news photographer for the Cleveland Plaindealer?

Or the OTHER photographer named John Kuntz, who apparently is annoyed about being mistaken for the news photographer?

Or the kid who plays video games?

Or the deadhead musician on YouTube?

Or the strange, sad employee of the month?

Talk about Narcissism!

It's an endless crackling video pool, with a thousand little reflections.

I'm dead here.

I'm 15 there.

I'm running some faceless corporation over there.

They are all ME!

There's even another PLAYWRIGHT named John Kuntz (John B. Kuntz, that is), who has written for soap operas for many years and, apparently was the librettist for a musical named "Lady Aubrey's Fan".

And our identities have somehow merged on Wikipedia: Cyber Conjoined Twins.

And I even met this man, years ago, while performing a solo show.

He came because he saw my name. And it was his name, too.

I hear he came to see Starfuckers while I was doing the NY Fringe.

But we were sold out, and he was turned away.

And I never saw him again.

A Funnyhouse of endless Kuntz.

All the choices I never made.

All the things I never did.

All the mistakes I could have made. Or did. Or will.

Even stranger are the Images that pop up, like the one above.

Now what in the world does my name have to do with that?

And yet, there it is, somehow: two sexy gay anime video warriors, holding hands, bathed in pink, strapped into spandex.

And it changes daily, like a kaleidoscope.

And I know we all do it. We chase our Google doppelganger down this rabbit hole.

And I know what I'm trying to find: something about myself that I didn't know.

A surprise.

A satori.

I want the mirror to appear and say:

"yes, we are all doomed.

But for now, you're OK.

You exist.

Kuntz."

Othello at CSC

CSC's Othello opened recently, this years' free offering of Shakespeare on the Boston Common.

Be sure to go in and see it!

I'm so glad that CSC and Steve Maler are still around producing this wonderful event for everyone: it marks Boston as a world-class city that cares about the Arts, and I really can't imagine a Boston summer without it.

My friend Marianna Bassham is playing Desdemona, and I'm sure she's wonderful. Also, James Waterson, who was in Julius Caesar with Tommy, is playing Iago.

I performed in three past shows at CSC, and they were always a great deal of fun, sort of like summer camp, only in iambic pentameter.

And full disclosure: Tommy and I first began our courtship during 12th Night. (He was Malvolio and I was Sir Andrew).

So, in a way, I owe my marriage to CSC.

Even better than performing is being in the audience: there is something really magical about being outdoors, at night, surrounded by people sitting on blankets, watching Shakespeare.

Here's all the info:

http://www.commshakes.org/shows/current_show/Othello/shows_current.html

Fully Committed

Since I'm trying to be a Boston Arts Booster these days, I wanted to get the word out about "Fully Committed", which is being performed outside at Christain Herter Park (where The Publick usually performs).

My friend Gabe is performing the one-person play, which is a work-out and a half - 39 roles for one actor! - , and my pal Steve Barkhimer is directing.

It should be quite fun, and you can have a Bar-B-Q before the show, if you like, which sounds heavenly.

Here's the web-site, in case you can go, which you should!

http://www.fullycommittedboston.com/

the hotel nepenthe

Some pics of the sad, haunted little hotel where we stayed in DC.

I love and am afraid of hotels, so I tried taking some pics of the room in an attempt to at least try to understand why that might be.

Hoping the images might help me as I dive into another re-write of the script for a read-thru later this month.

Hound of the Baskervilles

I saw "Hound of the Baskervilles" the other night, which is the play Tommy directed at the Central Square Theatre this summer. It's running for another two weeks and all I can say is:

Go See It.

(If you can, that is: I'm hearing it's selling out quickly, so get your seats sooner rather than later.)

It's Hilarious.

Now, I know, I'm biased.

I'm totally sleeping with the director, and all my friends are in the cast.

But it is such fun!

And I'm an Aries, and we're just no good at lying. So you can really believe me here.

First of all, Remo Airaldi is playing Sherlock Holmes (and a menagerie of other characters) and I could watch Remo read the phone book, he's so funny. And he's just a born clown. And hugely talented.

And Trent Mills is playing Lord Baskerville. Trent is a student at BoCo, which means he'll probably be on Broadway next year, so it's your chance to catch him now before all that happens. I got to work with him on "Midsummer", where he was just a perfect Flute/Thisbe - he's just such an adept physical comedian, and he has a face like bowl of Jell-O.

Then there's Bill Mootos. Now, Bill is one of my oldest (and I mean OLDEST) dearest friends, but I usually throw-up or fall asleep when he's on stage. Or just pass out in my own filth. But he is SO freaking funny as Dr. Watson. It's like watching a really dim appliance bulb try to turn itself on again and again.

The play is this total goof on the famous Sherlock Holmes mystery, so don't expect a faithful re-telling. It's total "Irma Vep"- run-around-velco-ripping-off-stage camp.

And it all looks great (I loved the little proscenium stage that moves about the room!)

And Tommy is just a really great director. The choreography alone is so complicated/hard to pull off/organize here, and he just did a great job. The world is just so specific and right.

Here's the Central Square Theatre website, if this sounds interesting to you:

http://centralsquaretheater.org/season/10-11/hound.html