Sunday, May 22, 2011
So I was having my routine blood work done as part of my yearly physical.
And she takes the needle out of my arm.
But she can't reach the gauze, which is on the other side of me.
So she asks the other woman in the lab to hand it to her.
So this other woman stops what she's doing - EMPTYING THE GARBAGE - grabs the sterilized gauze with her bare and apparently (given her present occupation) FILTHY hand, passes it to the first woman, who slaps it over the bloody hole she just made in my arm, sticks a band-aid over that, and then says to me: "You're all set!"
Now, here's the thing, (and maybe I'm being a little picky here) but before you handle someone's bandage, and you're in the middle of handling garbage, maybe you should take a moment to:
WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS.
I mean, really.
Friday, May 20, 2011
This, of course, is just to curtail any awkward conversation that might lead naive students into thinking that gay people actually EXIST in the world.
In an attempt to assist teachers, LGTB youth and their families, the fabulous George Takei (yes, that would be Lt. Sulu from "Star Trek") has offered his last name as a synonym for the word "gay".
So now people in Tennessee can talk about "Takei Marriage" and "Takei Civil Rights" without fear of right-wing wrath.
Now that is awesome and, if I may, SO Takei!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Airy elation! Imbibe time!
We’re all getting blotto, boys!
Pulsating watusi toes twinkling
Now Now Now
Roll out that grapey chaise lounge
Pit that olive!
Bake that brie!
Get Juno on the horn, man!
Remember when we couldn’t have any fun?
Quaffing Caecuban was a seven deadly
While psycho Queenie was scheming and dreaming:
“Death to the Empire!”
“Destroy the Capitol!”
With her infected horde of teste-challenged go-go boys
A spoiled orgy of prissy Persian cats
Her manic, pea-green expectations
webby with absinthe…
Her fleet smolders in like a strip club gaze
A tangled Luisitania jig
Cold shower face slap
She awakens from her smoky stupor
Telescoping Caesar, salad days spinning
as he chips at her ass
A hungry hawk
A serial killer smile in a frozen boxwood maze
Hoping to haul the femme fatale back to Rome
Spread-eagled on a carny’s knee
But she dreams of a more noble sleep.
And as she gazed on her burning empire
She grasped the basket of asps
She cradles them near, seeking their silky venom
The mirage of death flits, squid-like through her veins
She plunges downward now
Escaping his reach
Her final defeat
Descends into triumph
Note: I wrote this a while ago: it's my stab at translating an Horace ode. I re-discovered it while thinking of Antony & Cleopatra, of course, which closes this weekend and ends ASP's season. If you haven't seen the show yet, you should really try to get in, it's pretty amazing, and Paula is astounding and heart-breaking as always!
The Modern Theatre at Suffolk University
525 Washington Street
directed by Adrianne Krstansky
TONIGHT at 7:30pm
Thursday 5.19 & Friday 5.20 at 7:30pm
CLOSING: Saturday 5.21 at 3:00pm and 8:00pm
Purchase your tickets today with the code FINAL10 and receive $10 off the price of your ticket!
Featuring: James Andreassi*, Siobhan Brown, Jesse Hinson,
Doug Lockwood*, Johnnie McQuarley, Paula Plum*, Mara Sidmore*, Richard Snee* and Giselle Ty.
Buy your tickets HERE!
or call 866-811-4111