Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Right Actor

The Wheel of Fortune by Heather Watts

Philip, Darling!
Come in!  Come in!
I had no idea you were in the audience tonight!
And on my final performance.
How sweet.
Oh, I shall miss this play.
But, alas: what we do is so EPHEMERAL, isn't it?
Hang up a costume, hang up a memory.
As they say.
But how are YOU, my dove, my angel?
Did you enjoy the play, Darling?
Be honest.
Be cruel.
Be vicious.
I WAS magnificent, wasn’t I?
Oh, and Antonio!
Wasn't Antonio amazing?
Sharing the stage with Antonio, such an honor, what can I say?
I felt as though I were raped by Zeus.
Twice on weekends.
Oh and Millicent, of course.
Did you enjoy her performance, Darling?
I’m so glad someone did.
Millicent was really ON that stage, wasn’t she?
A little OLD to play 20 but then again, that's what theatre is all about, isn't it?
The suspension of disbelief?
What's next for me?
Well, Darling, I'm not at liberty to say!
SO many projects and it's SO difficult to choose just one.
I shall consult the Tarot.
Oh, the World of Theatre is such a spinning, dazzling Wheel of Fortune!
Why, anything could happen!
How did I fall in love with this BEAST they call the theatre?
For that is why we do it, isn't it, Philip?
Oh, Love, love, love.
I think I would just DIE without love, don't you?
But I needn't inform you about that, Philip: "the hottest young playwright in town"?
Oh, don't be modest, Philip, it's so tiresome!
You've had SUCH success with those little skits of yours.
People seem to enjoy them.
Not really MY taste, of course.
I find it all a bit trite.
But that's just me.
Tell me, are you working on anything new? 
On Broadway?
Your new play on Broadway?
Oh Philip!
I couldn't be more filled with light and joy!
I'm so happy for you, for everyone involved.
Who is involved, Philip?
Anyone I know?
Antonio in the lead?
Oh, then it's sure to be a hit.
Antonio: so passionate, so strong...
There is not a better actor on the American stage.
My goodness, Philip, you DO have a problem, don't you?
Well, finding a suitable actress to play opposite Antonio.
Not an easy task.
I'd say there's only a handful who could stand on stage next to Antonio and not wilt like some desiccated orchid.
Have you decided who you'll cast?
You've cast Millicent.
Oh dear.
Oh, nothing, dear Philip, I'm sure it will all be fine.
No matter what happens, your writing will shine through.
Well, it’s just…Millicent.
But surely Antonio told you?
It's really none of my business but Millicent is a hopeless alcoholic.
Rehearsals were so trying, what with her showing up drunk all the time.
She does sober up for opening night, though, darling, so fear you not.
It really is a terrible disease.
I suppose that's what makes her steal.
Oh, yes: Millicent is an absolute kleptomaniac.
She takes just about anything that's not nailed to the floor.
But other than that
- and the incontinence -
she's an absolute dear.
But Philip, what's wrong?
Was it something I said?
You aren't having second thoughts are you, darling?
Oh, I would just HATE myself if you were, with my nasty gossip.
You haven't signed anything with her yet, have you?
It's so important to get the RIGHT actor for the part, isn't it, dear Philip?
Now, what is this character's name?
And what is Phoebe like exactly?
Well, of course.
Very intelligent.
I see.
(Puts on glasses and fondles a nearby book.)
Very interesting.
What else?
I see.
So Phoebe is a sensuous creature...
(Begins fondling and stroking herself)
I see.
Anything else?
(Spreads legs and starts sucking her thumb)
I see.
Most intriguing.
What's that, Philip?
Oh, but Philip, I couldn't possibly.
The role is far too young for me.
(Long pause)
Well, thank-you.
I am as fresh as spring-time.
You're too kind.
But what of Millicent?
Yes, I guess you're right, Philip.
Perhaps now she could finally seek out the help she so desperately needs.
All right.
Yes my dear, let us go.
We shall take a taxi together to the party and on the way we can talk all about our new play.

Oh, love, love, love.

I think I would just die without love.

Don't you?

(Note: I wrote this monologue for my solo show "Starfuckers" a long time ago.  It wasn't in the original version.  I added it later, when I was performing it in Wellfleet, because I wanted to try out something new.  Just found it again now.  Thought it might be fun to share.  My friend Bobbie performed it, as well, as part of an ASP fund-raiser.  My friend Karen also performed it at an ART benefit awhile ago, along-side a short play by Christopher Durang.  John Guare was sitting next to me at the benefit, for some reason.  We had just met, and I was very nervous, because he is one of my heroes.  And when they announced that I had wrote it, he grabbed my hand and held it up for me.  Thank-you, John Guare!)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Living In Exile opens this weekend!!!

Living in Exile by Jon Lipsky opens this weekend in Davis Square, with a preview performance tonight at 7:30pm.

It's the final installment of The Winter Festival: a retelling of The Illiad from a modern day perspective.

Go check it out!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

The Hotel Nepenthe - Final Weekend

Wow, I'm going to miss this show!

Thank you to everyone who came out to stay in our weird little hotel!
We have TWO performances left, tonight and tomorrow night, so please spread the word if you can!

Here's the info again, just in case!

Play by John Kuntz
Directed by David R. Gammons
Sets, Costumes, Gammons.
Lights, Jeff Adelberg. Sound, Bill Barclay.
Presented by Actors’ Shakespeare Project as part of the Winter Festival,
at The Storefront in Davis Square, 255 Elm St., Somerville,

Go to for tix and directions
Special discount code: order tix online at website above and enter code "wfinsider" to receive $10 tix!
Student rush at the door is $15 with your student ID!
Remaining Show times:
Saturday, 3/12 8 pm curtain
Sunday, 3/13 7 pm curtain

Running time: 1 hr 40 min. with no intermission

More pics from Stratton McCrady:

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Hotel Nepenthe - Four Shows Added!!

We start our extension on Thursday!
Hope you can make it to the show!

ASP has given us FOUR half price tix for this week, so if anyone would like to use them, please let me know!!

More pics from Stratton McCrady:

The One Night Stand's Mother listens in
Princess Firefly
The Brother
Marilyn and Rachel
The Girl in Purple and The Dispatcher
Marilyn poses
The Boyfriend breaks down.  Again.
The Whore and Jack hang out in different planes
someone is filming The Whore and The Senators Wife
The Bellhop tries to connect
The Boyfriend's favorite drink
The Groom and the Bellhop try again.
Top of the Ferris Wheel

Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Hotel Nepenthe - Extended!

The Rent-A-Car Gal

We just received word that The Hotel Nepenthe will extend into next week.
So we will perform an additional four shows.
Extensions are always a bit of a blessing and a curse at once:
A blessing that more people will be able to see the show.
A curse in that it's VERY hard to get the word out that the show is still going on.
So, if you've seen the show:  Thank you thank you thank you!
Please spread the word along about the extension to friends who might be interested!
Everyone at the Nepenthe Hotel thanks you, in their macabre fashion...

Here's the extension schedule:

Thursday, 3/10 7:30 curtain

Friday, 3/11 7:30 curtain

Saturday, 3/12 8 pm curtain

Sunday, 3/13 7 pm curtain

More pics from the amazing Stratton McCrady:

The Murder Victim waits in the lobby

The Bellhop charms the Rent-A-Car Gal while the Murder Victim expires

The Starlet makes her entrance.

A Guest waits in his robe.

"I always feel like there's someone watching me..."

The Taxi Driver tries to keep his eye on the road.

The Starlet explains her fame.

Friday, March 4, 2011

The Hotel Nepenthe - 5 shows left!

The Bellhop and The Maid
  It's a countdown now, before the wrecking ball smashes down the walls of our Hotel.

5 shows left...

More pics from the fabulous Jeff Adelberg!!

The Boyfriend and The Bus Driver

The Starlet and The Camera Man
One of The Guests in the leopard-skin robe

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Hotel Nepenthe - Final Shows

We started our second week last night!

6 perfs left.

It strangely felt like we had been away for two years, but the show went really great, with a wonderful audience.

Today I have to teach a class in Newton until 5 and then somehow get to the space by 6:45 using public transportation.

Little nervous about that.

More great pics from Stratton, David and Jeff:

The Starlet in her tub (with the One-Night Stand and the Camera Man)

Trent and Marilyn go to the Prom
(while the Dispatcher and The Girl in Purple watch on the TV screen)

The Traveller hears a strange noise...
(Photo credit: Stratton MacCrady)

David, Daniel, Arkansas and Bill on a break during rehearsal.